THE STRUGGLE IS REAL
A couple of days ago I reached out to two of my best friends from college. We’re no longer friends today but it was on my heart to apologize for the way I ended our friendship. With this apology I did not expect much, I knew not to fantasize a reconciliation because it was simply just time to clear the air.
Here’s the back story. When I fully surrendered to God it became lonely. I stopped smoking, drinking heavily, partying, cursing, gossiping or engaging in conversations that were lustful. During that time I had only one friend who was likeminded and a woman of God as well, all my other friends weren’t. My best friends did not understand my choice so they did not support me. Even saying things that were insensitive. That led me to abruptly cutting all ties with them. Looking back now there definitely was a better way of handling the situation.
We don’t talk about what it is like during that transitional stage as a friend. From being worldly and wild to becoming a new creature in Christ. How hard is it to now maintain friendships or to walk away from them. We don’t speak about which friendships you keep and which ones you toss. The question of doing the right thing or not plays so much in my mind. The thing is, just like everything else we pray about we have to ask God for wisdom when it comes to ending friendships, starting new ones or even mending broken ones.
I still have friends who are in the world that I speak to regularly and even speak to about the Gospel. Now that I’m mature in faith, it is easier to navigate through conversations or time spent with those friends. Why? Because even though they’re living the unrighteous lifestyle I am able to govern myself as a Christian. Jesus sat with sinners and didn’t sin. To make it easier for me, the friends that I have that do not share the same faith are respectful of my journey with God. Each time we talk or leave each other, I feel a bit of satisfaction knowing that I was able to plant the seed and from time to time water that seed with more wisdom and knowledge of who Christ is. For me, this is how I evangelize for God. I know I can’t save my friends or want their salvation more than they do but I also know that I may be their ONLY source of what God can do for them. I am the example and I have to try to carry myself like Christ would.
If the story was different and I still struggled with willful sinning then it would be my responsibility not to put myself in situations where my walk and my faith would be compromised. Sometimes, saying no doesn’t mean you’re fake or a bad friend, it just means, “No I cannot attend because I cannot afford to fall short against the Kingdom of God.” It may seem like you’re putting God before your loved ones but you have to love Him more than them. Hard pill to swallow. If you have friends that aren’t understanding of your decision to choose Christ as your Lord and Savior, if those people are influencing sin into your life, YOU MUST WALK AWAY. What the Lord takes away for your own good, He will multiply to ensure you’re on the right and narrow path.
Friendships with other Christians can also be a bit complicated. Sometimes there are followers of Christ that aren’t seasoned as you are and sometimes you have followers who are still struggling with willful sinning. We are to hold our brothers and sisters accountable. There is a difference between being judgmental and correcting your loved ones with love and righteous judgment. When you find yourself in a situation where you need to correct your friends, seek advice from God. Ask when is the right time to speak, is it even okay to speak? Or even what do you say. Most times God will send you to be that person to hold them accountable and there are times when the Lord is just showing you so you can pray and He will handle it. Keep God centered in your heart so you can operate in love at all times.
Okay at the end of this post, I have to admit I’m going through a rough patch in a friendship. I’m keeping God centered and I’m trying my best not to react out of flesh. It’s hard but I must admit being quiet is the best way to handle this.
