As A Wife

 Being married is not just about a piece of paper. It’s Biblical, it’s intentional. Here’s my POV. 

A Wife Before Marriage

Being a wife comes way before the wedding and the ring. It’s all about how you carry yourself. Your willingness to leave behind a lot of traits that the world calls “alpha female”. Being a wife includes so much self respect. Modesty as well. In society, women are over-sexualized to the point where we think it is normal. As a wife, the last thing you should want is other men lusting after you, creating a space where they feel comfortable to disrespect your husband. Proverbs 31 is a guideline on how a woman should behave. It gives insight on how a wife should carry herself. 

This may ruffle some feathers however being a wife comes with class, elegance. Stepping into this role should definitely bring you closer to God, it shouldn’t lead you away from Him at no point in time. You should always cover your husband in prayer especially when you’re angry with him. This strengthens your relationship with your husband and with God! 

Being Submissive 

This is something I see often in our society today. Recently there was a discourse on the internet about what a traditional wife is and why it is not acceptable in society today. I picked my side and I stood there. The side of a traditional wife being submissive to her husband, taking care of the home and raising the children. Respecting her husband, following his lead and catering to his needs. I blame social media and the city girl era for creating a toxic culture for women. Creating the narrative that we don’t need a man or that men are below us. What I find completely amusing is that the original ‘city girls’ made it clear that the music is just for sales, one of them has been submissive to her man for years. Not only have they been corrupting the minds of women but they have been lying. 

Being submissive is way beyond sex. It is about respecting the lead and guidance of your husband, open to taking suggestions and correction, willing to trust his lead and take on things. Being submissive also comes with a great level of respect. How do you govern yourself when you are upset? How are you speaking to your partner? Are you running to the internet and your friends before taking it to God? These are all things that come with being a wife, especially a godly one. 

Keep in mind that having this trait is not losing yourself or becoming a puppet. It is simply knowing your role as a wife and embracing it. 

Wife First, Mom Second

This one is the hard pill to swallow because as a mother the love you have for your children is something you cannot explain. It is so much that you’re willing to risk your life for them, go to the ends of the world for them. In Ephesians 5:24 it states that wives should always put their husbands first. Does it mean to neglect the children or if your husband is in the wrong to allow him to abuse or mistreat the kids? Absolutely not!! That itself is not biblical, however your husband does in fact come before the kids and you should come before the kids as well. 

In perspective, I have a new baby who is very dependent on me because she is solely breast fed. There are times when I have to cut my time spent with my husband short to cater to our child or if my six year old needs assistance, my husband may have to go and see her. However hypothetically speaking, if both kids were to go against their father in a teenage rage (when they get older of course) I would have to side with my husband. This may look like figuring out disciplinary actions for our kids together.  Finding results on how to come to deal with our kids together. I should not be siding with the children especially when they’re acting out of order. Keeping in mind again, if dad is wrong, dad is wrong and we deal with that privately. Never in front of the children. Wife first, mom second. 

No Lust, Please! 

Oh and my favorite one of all, as you can tell by now, I am a bold woman of God. Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. With this being said, modesty was already in the works for me before getting married. However; now that I am a wife, it has been amplified. 

One thing I hate is being cat called at. I never realized how much I dislike the male gaze until now. This makes it easier for me to dress appropriately as a wife and mom. It doesn't mean boring at all. Finding ways to become modest and still stay fashion forward has been my favorite thing to do. Aside from honoring my marriage, I am honoring God as well, after all, I’m Christ’s bride before anything else. 

 There is also a satisfying feeling of being complimented while being covered verses leaving no imagination and it’s solely lust. That’s a different type of beautiful in my books. Staying away from lust and practicing modesty elevates you as a woman. It transforms your way of thinking as well. Once you remember that you’re a child of God and then a wife to your husband, you won't do anything less for yourself and your family. 

If you’re in the season of praying for a marriage or praying through your marriage just remember to keep God first. Yes your husband comes first before many things but not God. Do not idolize being a wife or idolize your husband. Stay connected with God and keep Him as your glue to your family. Amen? Amen.